That is how it feels to have magical boundaries.
It looks like…
A loved one asks you to do something, and you simply respond with what you want, or don’t want, without complication.
Easily trusting that other people can handle your ‘no’ without having to make them feel better.
You feel ease and flow around other peoples’ opinions, wants and desires.
You feel completely worthy of expressing your wants and not-wants.
You have a strong connection to your inner guidance to help you navigate complex situations.
Other peoples’ emotional states don’t affect you much.
The question of ‘how do I establish stronger boundaries with…’ is no longer a question.
You feel more deeply connected to your environment, and the people you love, and yet more free and safe at the same time.
If this isn’t where you are… it can be.
For many of us, the idea of boundaries starts and ends with our thorns:
Saying no. Being firm. Stating what we do not want clearly. Maintaining structure.
We do this so that we can re-establish feelings of safety around other people.
Establishing this ‘no’ is an important part of the emotional healing process, that pushes our energy back into place so that we can really start to understand where our edges lie.
Most of us stop here, thinking that this is the point to ‘boundaries’, but this would be like… flinching in response to an object flying at us, and then thinking that we need to stay flinched!
The ‘thorn’ is incredibly important for re-establishing our feelings of safety in the world, but it is not the end-goal of the establishment of our energetic boundaries.
The end goal is the re-open to yes.
Intrigued?
Then read on.
When you feel completely safe within your energetic edges, then navigating relationships becomes easy.
Deep inside your body and spirit lies a place that is infinitely wise, knowing, and safe. This place is one that we forget over the course of life, but it is always there, and always ready for us to remember it.
This space is constantly sending us messages about what we want and don’t want. What is safe, and what is play. What is worth exploring, and what is a waste of time and energy. It is reminding us, constantly, that we are worthy of expressing our wants and not-wants, because they are an expression of our hearts.
This space is where we emerge to, when we move through the ‘no’, to see what’s on the other side.
Navigating our own energetic edges (or boundaries) from the heart-space changes everything about the boundary process, because it becomes easy, true, fluid, and safe.
We become so full of our own energy, that there’s no room for anybody else’s stuff inside us.
The strong walls of our ‘no’ might help us feel safe..
But, true freedom is when you are able feel safe without walls.
Does this speak to you?
Then, allow me to introduce you to…
Thorn & Blossom is a boundaries course unlike any other.
Thorn & Blossom is a new, magical take on boundaries: where your heart takes the lead, and you learn to move through the world with fluidity, safety, sovereignty, and inner guidance.
Over the course of 21 days, from June 21st to July 12th, you will be guided into deeper relationship with your inner being, who will guide you into re-writing the blueprint for your energetic edges. You’ll learn to change your stories and beliefs around worthiness, saying ‘no’, wants, and not-wants.
You’ll learn how to check in with your heart for answers and guidance. How to move past your own stories and beliefs that tell you you’re not worth it, or that you’re asking too much. How to find a path through situations that require compromise, without feeling as though you’re selling your soul. And how to create a new baseline of self-worth so that the idea of simply expressing your wants and not-wants are a natural, easy, effortless expression.
But first, let me back up a bit, and tell you who I am and where the idea for this course came from.
Who’s behind all of this Thorny, Blossomy business?
Hi. I’m Rebecca. Human being who used to struggle with relationships.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like people (I did, and do, very much!), but that I found other peoples’ emotions so MESSY. Figuring out social situations, and how to say yes, or no, or state what I wanted, or to be clear always felt like a struggle.
The truth was, that I knew exactly what I wanted or didn’t want, but had learned early in life that saying things like ‘no I don’t want to because I don’t like you’ was considered ‘impolite’ or ‘hurtful’. I learned to be ‘good’, and over time, my own wants, and not-wants became harder to express without a complicated knot of thought processes and apologies and explanations. More often than not, I’d simply avoid ever being put in a position to have to say ‘no’ or to make my own needs clear. So, more often than not, I kept to myself.
Learning to untangle this complicated knot of navigating other peoples’ energy took me years. I was still trying to untangle it when, one day, I took a walk and sat down by the creek to meditate, and was just… given, this entire energetic picture that made so much sense:
This picture I was given showed me that the key to the whole thing was not trying to ‘fix’ what was ‘broken’ or ‘unravel’ the old pattern, or to ‘process’ it or figure it out, or even to find answers from other people.
It showed me:
That I was not (and nobody is) broken.
That there is nothing to fix.
That the answers, all the answers, were within.
So, I tried it.
And it worked.
On the other side, I found something utterly beautiful:
I didn’t need walls. I felt safe without walls.
I didn’t have to do everything alone to feel free, I felt free anywhere (though, full disclosure, I’m still an introvert and love being alone :) ).
And I didn’t have to tense against other peoples’ energy, because I could laugh it off, and feel safe, regardless of what someone else was feeling.
All of this makes it sound easy. It wasn’t. It involved a lot of trial and error. A lot of refusing to listen, a lot of resistance, tears, thinking I was losing my mind, and then realising that things are easier when I simply listen.
I have created this course to help you avoid the years of struggle and self-doubt, to help you straight to the good part:
Safety without walls.
Sovereignty in your own energy.
Your heart’s wants and not-wants, shining into the world.
Each week of this course explores a different aspect of the boundary-creation process:
WEEK 1: ROOTS.
Understanding the mechanism of the way our energetic edges express themselves when faced with conflict: do we cave-in? Push-out? Where do these patterns come from, and how do we change them? This week has a strong focus on coming home to the heart. Week 2 and 3 build on this baseline.
WEEK 2: THORNS.
This week, we start to explore ‘no’. What does ‘no’ feel like in your body, how do you express your ‘no’ non-verbally, and how do you act upon it safely. We also feel different kinds of ‘no’ in the body— some are gentle, some firm, some curious— and learn which areas are worth exploring or learning to compromise, or push our own edges.
WEEK 3: BLOSSOM.
Blossom is the culmination of the previous 2 weeks: learning to feel and dwell in the heart-space, and learning how to create a feeling of safety through establishing and strengthening our own thorns… now, we get to blossom. In week 3, we start to learn what our ‘no’ is creating space for: what does ‘yes’ feels like in our body and in our hearts. We get a sense of our heart’s priorities, and, learn how to feel safe enough to start compromising, or exploring how it feels to be open to more things, instead of dwelling inside a thorny thicket :).
What are the Thorn & Blossom guinea pigs saying:
Anonymous
This class was like having a secret handbook to boundaries downloaded directly into my brain. I cannot possibly thank you enough.
Thorn & Blossom has been wonderful for me, the content has helped me navigate some life decisions and interactions, especially through a period of transition and loss. It's helped me feel validated and has given me permission to be myself--which is something I can't believe I lost along the way, but is an invaluable part of the human experience! In a few weeks I've learned to have more agency over my own life via no's and yes's, and that I can design my own reality, and that is an awesome feeling.
Gloria Arminio
Tamara M
I’ve always had difficulty saying no in normal every day situations. I could say no to the big scary ones, but ask me to go for coffee when I don’t want to and I’d cave every time. I took this class to learn how to say no, but I took away so much more than that. I learned how to feel ‘no’ in my body and feel comfortable saying it and sticking with it when I need to. I learned how to compromise without compromising my integrity. Most importantly I learned how to say yes. I never realized how intertwined yes and no are, but once I learned to trust and honour my ‘no’, I could finally begin to feel and honour my ‘yes’, and I am having so much fun with yes!
You know how you are often led to something at exactly the right moment ... and this new place has familiar pieces but it’s like they speak to different parts of you and open up these beautiful drawers right in the middle of your chest? That’s what Rebecca and her work has taught me, especially Thorn and Blossom. Being able to fully see and receive myself with magic, forgiveness and release has been something of a relief and a gift. I used to think humans were onions and our job was to keep wrenching back the layers (with each one getting a bit stronger and stinkier) until we were left with nothing... now I can honestly look at my whole being with a peace and acceptance and how each layer makes up the whole and without them all I couldn’t be my whole self. It’s pretty astounding that I’ve done so much personal work, recovery work, magical work and they’ve all brought me right here, to this one imperfect moment that lives in the center of my heart ...and when I’m having a day that feels less connected I have an old familiar and shined up set of tools to play with. Opening myself to myself is the real deal and Rebecca has reminded me that I am the key and the lock and I’ve always been this way.
Tracie J
Andrea B
I previously felt as though establishing strong boundaries (and they were supposed to be strong) was a near impossible task I would most likely never achieve. Since taking Thorn & Blossom I can say with complete certainty that I have begun a beautiful journey of creating and exploring healthy and fluid boundaries. I now feel confident and curious playing with and developing my ability to say 'no' and 'yes' by staying true to myself. This is all thanks to the expansive yet gentle lessons, wisdoms and tools shared by Rebecca. Her course has helped guide me back to myself. Many of my daily interactions with people have become moments of self-awareness and opportunities to express my desires and personal truths. What has surprised me most is how much joy and deep satisfaction I felt by the end of the course and as I continue to get to know and trust myself again- all while becoming reacquainted with my wants (regardless of whether I achieve them or even decide to pursue them). I am starting to see the true shape and colour of my heart.
This course is an invitation to re-write the story of your energetic edges.
This course will be taught workshop style*, and will be entirely on Facebook, in a private learning group, running from June 21st to July 12th, 2021.
The material will be organised into easy-to-navigate units, with new material released 5 days a week.
We will have a 5-day on, 2-day off format, with weekends to catch up. The course material totals 21 days, with a bonus 22nd day party.
There will be 1 live Q&A session with Rebecca per week, plus the final round-up Q&A/ party.
Each day new material will be uploaded, with writings and exercises for you to do. The bulk of the course material is written, and the exercises come in the form of journal prompts, self-exploration, and recorded meditations.
10 days after the course finishes, the group will be archived: you’ll still be able to read the material and comments, but the course itself will be over. Think of this like a magical wave, gathering for you to step into and catch its momentum. You’ll still be able to read and listen to the material afterwards though.
*It is necessary for you to actually participate in the exercises for big dramatic changes to happen! If you’re looking for a course to watch like its Netflix then this is not the course for you!
How to sign up
There are three ways that you can sign up for Thorn & Blossom:
Thorn & Blossom starts at 3pm, PDT, on June 21st.
Still unsure?
Let me help.
I only want you to join this course if you really want to be here, and feel as though its for you!
Thorn & Blossom is the course for you if:
-You struggle with human relationships: they feel complicated and messy, and often not worth it.
-You wish that you could feel less porous around other people.
-You struggle with feeling unworthy of stating your needs and wants.
-You feel as though saying ‘no’ is so complicated and messy.
-You want to be able to do things for and with the people you love but often feel like saying ‘yes’ is like giving up a part of yourself.
-You are trying to figure out how to establish stronger boundaries with someone in your life but don’t know how to do it.
-You tend to cave in on yourself when faced with any kind of conflicting energy.
-The idea of having inner guidance, and being fluid and flexible when faced with conflicting energy sounds like a dream.
-You want to feel like yourself, even around other people, or groups of people.
-You want to feel whole, clear, and sovereign in your own energy, in any situation.
-You’re intrigued and don’t fully understand but have a ‘yes’ pinging around in your body.
Thorn & Blossom will not be a good fit for you if:
-You want to be able to sit back and watch and read and not do anything, but to emerge different.
-You are not willing to look at your own stories, beliefs and history.
-You believe that any change only comes after immense suffering, and aren’t willing to change that belief.
-You are not interested in a group, collaborative energy.
-You don’t believe in magic or the energy world or care if any of it is real.
-You need someone else to prove to you that you’re worthy.
-You need to be pushed, hand-held, or dragged into doing things.
I want to be extra clear about something:
Wanting to change something does not mean that you are broken.
In Thorn & Blossom (and in the entire Wonder Botanica world), we do not approach these patterns from the perspective of having something to ‘fix’ or to ‘make right’. It is not about digging deep to unearth past experiences, or about finding what is ‘wrong’ in order to make it better.
We approach this from the assumption, and understanding that you are already whole. Already complete. That your experiences are a part of the story of you… AND, that you can benefit from re-creating the blueprint of how you interact with other peoples’ energy.
For you. For your relationships. For society.
How to sign up
There are three ways that you can sign up for Thorn & Blossom:
Thorn & Blossom starts at 3pm, PDT, on June 21st.
FAQs
-How long will the material be available?
-The class runs for 3 weeks, and support will be available through the moderators for another week after that. The course group will then be archived, which means that it is closed for new comments, but you can read and have access to all of the material within. I hesitate to say ‘lifetime’ because that’s a very long time, but it will be available to you for as long as Facebook is around.
-Do you offer refunds?
No. The course is 21 days long which isn’t really long enough to have a trial or refund period. If you feel called to do the course, trust that there is something in there for you. If you feel like you ‘should’ do the course, then I can put you at ease by saying that it will be offered every year.
-WILL I GET ANY ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH REBECCA?
No. Rebecca has written the material, and will be doing live Q&A videos to answer any of your questions that come up. You will also be receiving support within the Facebook group from some of Rebecca’s Wonder Sessions students, who are incredible, wise, and understand the material very well.
-WHY IS IT ON FACEBOOK, I HATE FACEBOOK!
To be honest, none of us (Rebecca and the moderators) are huge fans of social media either, however, we all employ different methods to make it work for us: Rebecca has a newsfeed blocker, and many students have ghost accounts just for Wonder work. You can do something similar: you can open an account just for the month, or save the page for the course material so that you can go straight there without getting sucked into the often unsettling chaos.
We use facebook because it’s free, it’s easily accessible, and it’s well organised: you don’t need to sign up on a new website, or figure out how to use it when you’ll only need it for a month. If you absolutely hate facebook and will never ever open even a ghost account to do a course, then this simply isn’t the course for you. If you still really want it, then see if you can find a way to work around your (entirely justified) objections.
-I FEEL REALLY CALLED TO THIS BUT I’M NOT SURE.
Take a walk around the block, and make sure it’s truly calling to you. Sometimes, when you don’t know why, its that there’s something in there for you to learn as a part of your life path. But sometimes its just really good marketing (*preens*). A walk will help you sort out which it is. I hope its the former, but understand if it’s the latter!
-I want this but I’m also afraid that this kind of thing could never be for me.
Nobody else can tell you that you’re worthy of this kind of work. However, if you’re waiting for a sign, I’ll say this:
If you have desire, even (or maybe especially) if it comes with little flickers of fear and anticipation, then that is a sign.
