The best sleep ever.
When I was a little girl, a Rabbi once told me that it was a sin to wake anybody up unless it was an emergency, because sleep is sacred. There is much that I have forgotten from my childhood, but this lesson became woven into my bones, and stuck with me for years. It was a lesson that probably worked well in my mother’s favour on weekends— my brother and I did not wake her— and also a lesson that made me angry at the world when I had to wake up to an alarm to go to school— being woken up prematurely was being ripped unwillingly from a sacred space. How did the world not understand this?
It never occurred to me, however, that the act of falling asleep was also sacred space. All of that has changed this year.
Falling asleep, for as long as I’ve been able to read, has been an act of ‘reading-until-my-eyes-ache’ (probably no wonder I got my first pair of glasses at age 6 :P).
Pre-sleep reading time was always stolen pleasure time. Nobody to talk to. Nothing to do. No homework. Everybody else asleep. As a child it felt like a rebellion, and as an adult it feels like an indulgence. It was (and still is) a secret pleasure that is mine and mine only.
After a lifetime of feeling like I slept well, this year I started sleeping badly: being unable to fall asleep, waking up multiple times in the night, sleeping really late, waking up feeling tired, groggy half the day, wide awake after dinner, and completely unsatisfied by any sleep that I did get.
So, I started to learn more about sleep, and learned about the falling asleep process: that not only is the tail end of sleep sacred, but the beginning of it is too. Sleep, as a whole, is sacred space. It is where we step into communion with the divine, and the unknown, nightly. Building practices to support this sacred space is inviting it more deeply into our lives.
So now, at 38, I have learned how to fall asleep without passing out face-first in a book out of absolute exhaustion. I have learned to explore and enjoy the in-between, which, quite frankly, used to be really uncomfortable. Now I have a practice around sleep, in the same way as I have a practice around writing: a series of things that I do to book-end my sleep time, that helps me sleep better, more effectively, and more easily.
Because this has made such a massive, massive difference in my own life, I am a. Now a sleep evengelist and b. Going to share everything I know about sleep with you.
So, read on for some good sleep info!
-Rebecca
Ps. Want to read more conversation on this? Join Wonderkin— we’re going to have a week-long sleep-window challenge!
Pps. If you are in a situation in life where you cannot change your sleep circumstances or have sleep disorders, or have just had a baby and are running on short bursts of interrupted sleep for the foreseeable future, I'd recommend reading the last section of this newsletter first (or maybe skipping it altogether).
Contents:
1. On sleep
2. Your sleep window
3. Herbs and supplements to help
4. Things that affect your sleep for the better or worse
5. A brief note on panic and fear-mongering for those of you who do not have the luxury to change your sleep
1. On sleep
Most of us treat sleep like an afterthought: a thing that we have to do in order to be able to function properly, but something that annoyingly cuts into our awake time, our work time, our do-ing time.
It is, however, so much more:
When we sleep we enter into communication with the divine. In switching OFF, we are surrendering ourselves, every night, to the greater flow of energy and consciousness in the world. In surrendering to sleep, we trust our bodies to handle the healing and regeneration, and trust our brains to work through problems on their own. It doesn’t matter how rational, how in control of every other aspect of our lives we are, when we sleep, we let go. This gives me hope— even the most militant, controlled and rigid among us surrender their bodies and minds to the greater flow. Even the most intimidating assholes drool on their pillows and fart without knowing about it. Even the most hardened among us have nightmares on occasion that make them feel like scared children again. And even the most disconnected receive messages in their dreams from beyond the veil (regardless of whether they choose to ignore them entirely). We are unable to disconnect completely from the world of magic, because we *are* magic, so when we let down our guards at night, it flows in.
Sleep is also essential for our bodies and brains to function well. I could at this point give you a whole list of things that could go wrong if you don’t sleep enough. I’m not going to do that: the chances are, if you’re not sleeping enough, you know how it feels. If you’re not sleeping enough, then reading a long list of terrible things that could happen as a result of your sleep habits would be more shame-and-fear-inducing than motivating. So I won’t list why not sleeping is bad for you. What I am going to do, however, is tell you all the amazing things that happen when you sleep enough, sleep well, and most importantly, sleep enough at the right time. (More on that later)
Physiological:
The first half of your sleep cycle is when your body spends its most time in a state of deep sleep, and this deep sleep is when the good stuff happens: our bodies physically regenerate. Our organs go through cleansing cycles. The Glymphatic system, which is the lymphatic system that removes waste from the brain functions ONLY while we sleep.
In order for this aspect of our sleep to function effectively, it is best if you are not still digesting food, because that means your body is digesting instead of restoring itself. It also helps if you do not have alcohol in your system (same with food but with alcohol). It is also necessary for you to be calm to enter into a state of deep sleep— drink too much caffeine and it’ll keep your nervous system agitated, and you’ll maybe sleep lightly, but won’t enter into that regenerative cycle.
This is also the time when your immune system can do its best work, so if you feel as though you’re fighting something, or are dealing with immune issues, create space for more deep sleep in your life.
Liver function:
The liver (as do all of our organs) actually has its own circadian rhythm that works in conjunction with our bodies own rhythms. When we keep a regular sleep and eating schedule, our liver is much more able to function without challenge. Sleep is SO essential for the healthy functioning of your liver, because it is when we sleep that the liver does a lot of its ‘cleansing’ <- I say it with a ‘ ‘ because it’s more of a ‘break-down-transmute-and-prepare-for-excretion’ than it is actual ‘cleansing’ but the more honest description is more of a mouthful). Some of the chemicals that the liver spends a lot of time transmuting into water soluble (and therefore easy to get rid of) substances are the hormones in our bodies. Our bodies create hormones, which send messages to our various organs and trigger certain functions. After a hormone has done its job of communicating a message, it goes to the liver, where it is transformed into substances that no longer tell the body to do things. Basically, the hormones are broken down into their constituent parts, and are cleared from the blood stream. The liver needs adequate sleep to function at its best, because it is during sleep cycle that it regenerates.
A good night’s sleep also has the liver regulating our glucose metabolism. The opposite is also true— a single night’s bad sleep can screw with our glucose production and insulin metabolism. Think about how, on days when you’re super tired, you’re more likely to reach for a sugary snack (I’m not alone in this, right?!), and experience the super-fun sugar-high rollercoaster. Personally, I’m not anti-sugar, nor am I anti-tiredness-coping-mechanisms, but a good nights sleep will make sugar feel way less necessary to function.
Mental:
You’ve all felt how a single bad night’s sleep can affect your brain function, right? And those of you who’ve had kids are probably well acquainted with the effects of sleep deprivation on your ability to be mentally ‘on’. But sleep deprivation doesn’t need to be the kind of deprivation that comes from years of child-rearing. Sleep deprivation can be a lot more subtle than that. It can come, for example, from sleeping a tiny bit less than is best for you, for a few days in a row. It can come from not catching the right sleep window. I mentioned above that the glymphatic system works primarily during the night, and this is the system that clears toxins from the brain. The glymphatic system basically pumps cerebro-spinal fluid through the brain at night.
Interestingly, it is the slow brain waves of our deepest sleep that helps this system to function at its best: the way that our neurons fire from the front to the back of the brain in deep sleep, releasing ions along the way, creates a state of osmosis in waves that pulls the cerebro-spinal fluid through the brain, picking up and removing waste along the way.
The removal of waste from the brain is correlated with improved cognitive function.
Emotional:
In the last six months I have read or watched about 8 different sources that talk about dreaming. The explanations for why we dream range from “it’s a series of meaningless electrical impulses” to “they are communications from the spirit world”. I, a herbalist, with no history or expertise in dream research, do not have an opinion or explanation for what dreams actually are for. I will say this, however: the idea that dreams are simply a series of electrical impulses feels disappointing, in the same way as if somebody comes along and explains to you the perfectly good reason why something you thought was magic was actually just a trick of the light.
The magical can often be explained away by the rational mind, especially when the rational mind has no desire or inclination to make space for the unknown. However I am not so much interested in living in a world that feels so safe as to have everything explainable as meaningless, and devoid of magic.
In reading some of the descriptions of dreaming that describe dreaming as magical, I personally cannot wait to go to sleep at night. If in this space of unconsciousness, my mind dips into the hidden world and starts dancing with spirit, then sign me up for more sleep.
Anyway, I preface with that to say that one of the more esoteric and helpful emotional effects of sleep is that we often process emotional situations in dreams. As any of you who’ve experienced something traumatic and then dreaded falling into a deep dream state can attest to, our unconscious minds often process things long after our conscious brains want to be done with them. I have found myself emotionally processing difficult situations in dream states, and often resolving them in ways that I never could while awake.
(More on that in this article and quoted below)
“In this view, [dream experience] can defuse emotional traumatic memories when the emotional regulation and the fear extinction mechanisms are compromised by traumatic and frightening events. Finally, dreams could represent a sort of simulation of reality, providing the possibility to create a new scenario with emotional mastery elements to cope with dysphoric items included in nightmares. In addition, it could be hypothesized that the insertion of bizarre items besides traumatic memories might be functional to “impoverish” the negative charge of the experiences.”
I think of the emotional processing aspect of dreams like basic emotional hygiene: it’s cleansing, and re-setting the emotional baseline. There are also hormonal effects of sleep deprivation that also make one more prone to being emotionally volatile, but I think a huge part of this is also the result of simply not having enough processing, and re-setting time.
In our dreams we also interact with the past and with people we know differently. I have, for example, had conversations with people I love who are long dead in my dreams, and have woken up feeling so comforted by these conversations, or have had completely different perspectives on things that I was struggling with. Again, whether it’s true or not seems a bit irrelevant to me: one could become so caught up in trying to ‘prove’ something that one loses sight of the meaning of it. Sorta like how people like to debate the effectiveness of different types of herbal medicine, when I’m more of the mindset that ‘if it works for some then what does it matter’.
2. Your sleep window.
Our bodies have natural rhythms that work best for us, and this is woven into the fabric of our being. Hence, night owls and morning larks and no amount of effort truly being able to change this. Many of us assume that we can force ourselves to sleep at certain times, and that 8 (or 7, or 9) hours is 8 hours. But in fact, 8 hours is not 8 hours. These rhythms that are inherent to our bodies have optimal times to be put into effect: this is called our sleep window.
For the first half of our sleep cycle, our bodies and organs regenerate, cleanse, heal, restore. This time is marked by waves of deep, dreamless sleep.
The second half of our sleep cycle is when we dream. REM sleep, where our brains are active, putting together stories and montages based on the information that we’ve picked up throughout the course of our lives.
If you fall asleep in your natural sleep window, then the first half of your sleep cycle will be as long as it needs to be, and the second half will too. If you fall asleep too late, then the first half of your sleep cycle will be cut short the amount of time you missed. That is, if your body naturally starts its regenerative processes at 10pm, and you go to bed at 11, even if its consistent, then you miss this first hour. Conversely, if you wake up 2 hours before your natural wake up time, every day, then you miss those valuable hours of REM sleep that you’d be getting.
Your sleep window is important because it is the time when your body is going to sleep best.
You can think about it in this way:
Your body and brain and energy have their own cycles. These cycles, if you have a body that menstruates (or used to) are probably things that you’re familiar with, but we all have cycles, of various lengths and kinds. Sleep is one of them. If you’ve ever tried to push yourself to do things when the cycle is moving in another direction, then you know how hard it is to work against yourself. Think, for example, of when the weather starts to turn, and you feel like nestling in front of the fire, and being introverted, and reading, and cultivating some coziness, but then you have to go to a party. Or think about how it feels when it’s summer, and you’re in the middle of a pandemic so you can’t go out and socialise, but it’s the height of summer and you feel like an outdoor barbecue with friends would be the best thing ever. Working WITH cycles on the other hand is like harnessing the energy of nature to assist you: everything feels more effortless when working in alignment with our natural cycles. Cozytime in winter. Social time in summer. Big parties during full moon. Winding down for the day as the sun sets. Getting quiet while menstruating so you can listen to the energy around you more clearly. Getting into bed and going to sleep when your body is ramping up to regenerate. It’s like trying to sail in the direction that the wind is blowing you, as opposed to having to tack for hours heading into the wind. Sometimes we don’t have a choice, but if you do, then let the wind do the work.
Knowing your sleep window is one of the keys to, not just sleeping, but making sure that your sleep is the best it can be. My sleep window, for example, starts between 930 and 1030pm. I can sleep for 8 hours from midnight to 8am, and would wake up feeling groggy and tired. If I go to sleep between 930 and 1030 on the other hand, I can get 7 hours of sleep and still wake up feeling rested and alert. Catching your body’s wave of sleep timing is the key to getting the most out of your sleep.
Here’s a screen shot of sleep data from my sleep tracker* the other night. I missed my sleep window by an hour because I was reading a good book, and you can see how my deep sleep was really concentrated, and the REM sleep started a couple of hours into the night. By the end of the night, the deep sleep had stopped, and light sleep and REM was happening more. Despite those numbers looking pretty decent, I woke up feeling a bit groggy.
Here, on the other hand, is one from last week when I forced myself to put down my book (there’s a theme here) and go to sleep within my window. See how the deep sleep takes up the first half, and then REM kicks in in a more balanced way? More importantly, I woke up quite a few times during the night and still woke up feeling AMAZING: refreshed, ready to start the day, like this:
These are two examples, but I’ve been tracking it for about 6 months now, and it’s pretty consistent like this: getting to sleep at the ‘right’ time leads to a more balanced number of REMs and DEEPs (and I feel great, which I think is more important personally).
How to calculate your best sleep window:
I’m going to be completely honest with you: I cheated. I bought an Oura ring, and it gives me a bunch of data every morning, and over time has refined my sleep window for me. This is good for me because I am not into the idea of figuring out this stuff on my own. HOWEVER, my student/ friend/ brilliant herbalist Lea Pfeiffer (who is also the unofficial Wonder Sessions Sleep Coach) is really really well versed in sleep window stuff, so I asked her to go on video with me to explain how to figure it out.
Here are her recommendations to find your sleep window:
(Also, no, I did not brush my hair for this: we’re in a pandemic, the world is on fire, and our Dumbledore just died: you can deal with my hair looking like a creature slept in it. Thank you :P.).
*Oura ring. Not affiliated in any way, but I love it!!
3. Herbs and supplements that can help with sleep.
Relaxing nervines: herbs to try before bed.
Passiflora // Passionflower
Do you ever lie in bed at night overthinking? Worrying? Planning? Replaying conversations? Passionflower does this magical thing where your thoughts wind down as if the faucet has been switched off at the mains, and then you wake up hours later. It’s especially useful for when all this overthinking is the result of the nervous system being under slightly more ‘activation’ than normal, which keeps you on alert, which makes it harder to stop thinking or sleep deeply. Passiflora takes it down a notch, so that your brain can shut up, and you can sleep. Combine with ashwagandha if it’s stress levels making you more agitated and unable to relax. Combine with California poppy if you want to PTFO :).
Valerian // Valeriana officinalis
Valerian smells like old socks. There, I said it up front just in case you weren’t aware of this fact, and then bought some, and then wonder whether it’s bad. It’s not, it is supposed to smell like that, and it is way better if you mix it with other herbs like mint and passionflower and orange peel and lemon balm. You could make a big jar of that, and have it as your sleep blend, and drink a mug before bed every night :).
Valerian is a calming nervine that has a direct effect on the nervous system, but, it also has a different effect for different people: some people are calmed and soothed by it, whereas others (a very small percentage, mind you) are energized, so I’d recommend trying it for the first time during the day— if you feel nice and relaxed then you’re good to go before bed. If you want to organise your pantry, then save it for when its light out.
That said, if valerian DOES work for you (keep in mind it really is most people that it works for so don’t let my warning deter you from trying!) then it will help your sleep SO much. It deepens sleep, often quite dramatically, and helps you sleep through the night if you’re prone to waking up whenever there’s a noise or someone in the house twitches. Basically, if your nervous system is activated a little, and you’re unable to relax or switch off enough to get the deep sleep you need, then valerian can be the thing that tips you into deep relaxation.
I actually love any sleep tea blend that you can find at the health food store that has valerian in it, and the quantity in one cup is enough for me… so play around with it and see if it makes a difference— you might not need too much to change your sleep into something that feels realllllly good.
Chamomile // Matricharia spp.
I wasn’t super into chamomile as a herb until I heard Rosalee talking about it. It’s one of her favourite herbs and the way she talks about it is so inspiring that I decided to buy a little dried chamomile and start drinking it before bed. I’d forgotten how delicious it is!
I’m going to link to Rosalee’s article because I think she does it way more justice than I can, but suffice it to say that chamomile is an apothecary unto itself, and depending on how strong you make it, it can affect your body in a variety of different ways: a weak tea is gentle and soothing, and a strong tea is a surprisingly bitter sedative and relaxant that can help with anything from menstrual cramps to fevers.
So, I’m a chamomile convert, and after reading this article, you will be too.
For during the day/ things that help affect your sleep over time.
You know when you’re exhausted, and feeling fried, and you’re sleepy at 7pm but when you get to bed at 10 you’re wide awake, and then your sleep is agitated all night, and you wake up in the morning feeling as though you didn’t get any deep restorative sleep at all?
This happens when your nervous system is in a state of vigilance. Our nervous systems do this very easily— think of a higher-than-average workload that has you on higher alert than normal, or, oh, say a global pandemic that’s raising everybody’s stress levels. Once the switch has been flipped into vigilance, it is really hard to turn off. So you’d *think* that going to sleep would help, but usually what happens is the nervous system remains more alert than usual, so the tiniest noises wake you up, and the person sleeping next to you moving wakes you up, and maybe a car drives past and it wakes you up. Perhaps you wake up in the middle of the night feeling anxious about something and lie awake thinking about it for a while. Our nervous systems keep us on high alert, and then we don’t sink into deep sleep (something important could happen in the middle of the night and you need to be able to respond to it!).
Yes, you can probably drug yourself, or take enough sedatives that you sleep through the night, but it’s not addressing the underlying issue, which is that your nervous system is on alert, and that you don’t feel fully safe, or capable of handling all the stressors while in a relaxed state.
If this is the case, then adaptogens and relaxing and rebuilding nervines are going to be a key part of your protocol, because your nervous system needs to feel safe and calm down. Herbs are brilliant for this.
Ashwagandha// Withania somnifera
I cannot stress enough how much Ashwagandha helps with sleep if you are in a state where you’re so stressed that you can’t sleep deeply. It works on a number of levels: first, by helping to build and restore your vital energy. By helping to rebuild your energy reserves, ashwagandha helps the way you perceive yourself relative to your stressors: think about how when you’re utterly exhausted and have nothing left in your own personal gas tank, and then you see a pile of dishes in the sink. The pile of dishes might make you want to cry (I am not ashamed to admit that I have cried over dishes before). Then think about how it feels to see a pile of dishes when you have energy— it’s no big deal right? So, by helping to rebuild your energy levels, ashwagandha helps you feel more CAPABLE in the face of adversity, because you feel as though you have enough energy to deal with what’s happening. When you feel as though you have the capacity to deal, then you feel less under threat, because you know that whatever you’re facing isn’t going to consume you whole, so your nervous system doesn’t need to be on high alert. This means that you’re going to feel less jumpy, less agitated, and less easily disturbed all night. Then, and this is why ashwagandha is my favourite, it is also incredibly grounding and helps you sleep deeper. So not only do you feel safer, and more capable, but your sleep deepens and becomes more restorative (remember that the first half of your sleep cycle at night is when your body rebuilds itself!).
Skullcap // Scutellaria spp.
Think of skullcap when your nerves feel fried and worn down. Skullcap is what’s known as a trophorestorative for the nervous system— that means, it helps to restore function when function is reduced due to overuse, damage, or deficiency. Pay attention to your reactions: are you jumpy? Do small noises make you jump? Do small things send you into a meltdown? Do you feel shaky (either feeling it or actually shaking)? Does the tiniest bit of caffeine, or sugar, make you feel like you’ve been plugged into an electrical socket (not in a good way)? Think about skullcap, who will help to soothe, calm, and restore your nervous system to a more balanced feeling baseline.
Milky oat // Avena sativa or fatua.
Similar to skullcap, in terms of helping when the nerves feel frayed or fried, milky oat is the herb I reach for when it feels as though there is no layer of protection between the nervous system and the world: sounds are not just loud but HURT. Touch feels like too much. Busy places feel like too much. More on your to-do list feels like too much. As though whatever buffer you had between your feelers and the world is gone. Milky oat soothes, calms, restores. It helps to rebuild energy levels over time (similar to ashwagandha— it restores and rebuilds), and helps to soothe and restore (similar to skullcap), but where ashwagandha can sometimes give too much energy, and skullcap can sometimes be too sedating, milky oat is the choice of Goldilocks everywhere: it is just right. Gentle, balancing, good.
If you’re feeling especially frazzled, and at your wits end, try all 3 in a tincture formula together. I’d do one part of each.
Supplements:
5-HTP
A precursor to melatonin, 5-HTP can help with melatonin production without giving you the weird dreams that melatonin itself can. It also helps to regulate and improve mood, and balance stress levels, which in turn helps to deepen your sleep.
GABA
GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric acid ) is an amino acid that the brain produces, to slow down the activity of the brain and nervous system.
LOW levels of GABA can lead to anxiety, insomnia, and bad sleep. Taking GABA if you’re prone to these things can help to alleviate anxiety and deepen sleep.
(Top tip: you can get it at the health food store. Try it during the day: if it calms you down significantly then you’re onto something.)
Magnesium
It’s estimated by some clever boffins that about half of us are deficient in magnesium. This is because most of our magnesium comes from food, and there is very little magnesium in the soil anymore. Magnesium deficiency has broad-reaching actions in our bodies: it assists in the uptake of other nutrients and minerals; it regulates blood pressure and cholesterol levels; maintains fluid balance; helps with bone density; and helps with your body’s stress response. A lack of magnesium can lead to anxiety, feeling jittery, and easily stressed. It can also impact sleep. Conversely, magnesium is relaxing— a cup of delicious (ok that’s a stretch) magnesium drink before bed can be really deliciously (that’s not a stretch) relaxing. Or a bath with lots of magnesium salts, or epsom salts.
L-Theanine
L-Theaning boosts GABA and serotonin production. It also lowers levels of stress chemicals in the brain. It reduces anxiety, and provides a state of calm wakefulness (meaning it’s not a sedative, but it is calming). And it helps to deepen sleep.
4. Other practices around sleep that can help
There are lots of other factors that affect sleep, but they aren’t going to affect it for all of us. I’m reluctant to just give a big long list of things to do that can feel like an unachievable goal. The best thing I’d suggest is to run a (super fun, light and easy!) experiment on yourself, and try some of these things to see if they help.
I suggest choosing one thing, and trying it for a week, to get a bit more data than you would on one single night. Take notes so that you can remember how it went.
-If something really helps, you’ll notice quite quickly, and if it helps noticeably, you’ll most likely want to start doing it more.
-If it doesn’t help, then you don’t need to worry about it.
-If you can’t tell if it helps, then it probably isn’t worth the hassle :).
Please note, I'm not saying to go and implement all of these things all at once-- that sounds stressful and like a lot of work. Think of it more like something you play with over time, in order to learn more about yourself. Keep what works, discard the rest.
Screens/ light.
-Try either not looking at any screens or devices for 2 hours before sleep, or wearing blue-blocking glasses after dark.
-Try switching out the bulbs in your lamps to be not-so-bright, and only keep dim lighting on at night, after dark. I’ve heard from people that this takes a while to get used to, though, to be honest, I *hate* bright inside lights at night and find it so jarring that it’s always a shock to me when people come over and remark on how dark our house is. So, I think you can adapt to anything, and darker at night is way better for your sleep cycle.
-Try making your bedroom as dark as possible.
-A sleep mask that blocks all light. This is my favourite mask, though after splurging on it, I found this one that looks identical and is cheaper. This one is also really good (I used it for 8 years before ‘upgrading’).
Food and drink.
-If you tend to eat late, try eating earlier and see how that affects your sleep. Ideally you’d eat at least 3 hours before bed, so that your body doesn’t have to work on digesting during those essential first hours of sleep.
-Experiment with high carb dinners. Low carb dinners. Lots of veggie dinners. Lots of protein dinners, etc. For myself, for example, I’ve found that a light dinner, quite early, means that I sleep remarkably well. A late dinner, especially a heavy one, and fuhgettaboutit.
-If you drink alcohol, play around with how much affects your sleep. I’m not much of a drinker, but any more than about 1/3 of a beer is enough to affect my sleep. (Next level alcohol experimentation: if you’re drinking, try taking some milk thistle before bed to see if that helps).
-Warm milk and honey before bed can be really soothing.
-Any combination of the relaxing nervines above, in a tea, in the hour before bed can be good. Especially if it becomes a ritual.
Exercise.
-Exercise too late in the day can affect your sleep negatively, by raising your stress hormones. If you tend to exercise late, can you try it earlier for a week? Or try doing a more gentle exercise like walking, or gentle yoga.
-Exercising too much can negatively affect your sleep. If you really push yourself with your exercise, and aren’t training for the olympics, try backing off for a week (or giving yourself a schedule and adding more rest/ recovery days) and seeing if that helps.
-Exercising too little can negatively affect your sleep: try a nice walk before or after dinner.
-Gentle stretching before bed can help you wind down.
Temperature of room.
- Cooler temperatures can help (ie. Open the windows or turn on an AC for a bit before bed, or put a fan on).
- Fresh air helps-- keep a window open.
Sound.
-Some of us are sound sensitive and don’t actually realise that we’re not sleeping as deeply because of it. Wearing earplugs to block sound can help you sleep much more deeply, especially if you have a snoring partner, dog who likes to scratch, noisy neighbourhood.
-White noise can be really soothing. There are some great 10hr white noise recordings on Youtube to try. This is my fave https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A75PQLV-Nck&t=985s
Wifi/ electricity.
-Wifi signals and the ‘bzzzzz’ of electricity can affect your sleep. Try switching the wifi off at night to see if it makes a difference.
-Try unplugging electrical devices around your bed.
-Try keeping your cellphone and any other cellular devices either on airplane mode or in another room. When you need to have them on for emergencies (I usually have mine on airplane mode, but during fire season, I keep it on and in my bedroom), keep them away from your bed.
5. A brief note on panic and fear-mongering for those of you who do not have the luxury to change your sleep
The thing that worries me, about sending out emails like this, is that when it is impossible to change anything, it can start to feel like ‘oh great things are hopeless because I can’t do that’.
When you have no choice but to lose sleep, the stress that arises from thinking you are harming yourself is more damaging than the sleep loss in the first place. I’ve seen this happen with friends when they have babies and can’t sleep and then start to panic that their health is going down the loo as a result. This turns the already-stressful situation into something that feels intolerable, because it feels completely disempowering and hopeless.
So, if your life is structured in such a way as to not afford you the time or space to optimize your sleep, it is not terrible. You’re not going to die a terrible death or forever suffer because you’re in a position where you can’t do these things. It helps, however, to reframe the situation a little.
Here’s how I like to think about these situations:
-Sometimes our restrictions are short-term.
-Sometimes they’re long-term.
-Sometimes the restrictions are the result of a sacrifice made in order to get something that you really want (like working a super stressful job to be able to afford a nicer house, or working night shifts because you love being an ER nurse).
-And sometimes they’re the result of necessity and survival (like working more to keep your family fed).
One of the more helpful things, in any of these situations, is to re-frame the lack of sleep around this bigger picture. That would be something like ‘ok I don’t have an optimum sleep schedule because I’m taking care of my family and it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make right now’ or ‘I have worked for X number of years to get this job in the ER and it is worth trying to figure out how to sleep during the day’. Or even ‘it’s just X number of months (or years) of this until Y happens and I can support myself in other ways to get through this’.
This turns it from ‘I can’t have this important thing that’s necessary for my survival’ to ‘I am choosing to give up this important thing in exchange for something that’s also important.’
Your body is brilliant, and clever, and resilient, and capable of adaptation. Trust it to help guide and support you through this. <3